WAWA

Terlalu busy menjadi orang dewasa - terus terlupa wujudnya belog ntah hape-hape ni. Tp, belog ntah hape2 ni lah peneman zaman mude2 dulu....

Halllluuuuuuuuuuuuuu assalamualaikum!

Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. masih bernyawa, masih sempurna akal fikiran segala, masih lagi seorang WAWA.

eyh.
mungkin bakal berdua. haha. fulsetop.


alhamdulillah, 6 bulan sudah bergelar cik enjinia.*clap clap*. what can i conclude as my main job scope - bergelumang dgn word 'rootcause'. stiap hari setiap saat setiap waktu, dlm kepale kne 'lincah' berfikir KENAPA sesuatu itu terjadi. everything happen for a reason, eyh no, everything should and MUST have a reason. perlu gigih dan gagah usaha korek smpi lubang cacing.


Pernah one big case occur, kepale rse cm nk gugur segala rmbot sbb b'minggu2 x jupe jupe dy punye jwpn utk KENAPA. Time tu ikot ht rse cm tnjuk gengsta telangkupkan meja time meetin bilamana boss dok gasak2 kite suh bgtaw jugk KENAPA. Seb bek i x bpe nk gengsta. Hueh.

Yang penting, keje kilang ni kewl jugak perasaan dy ghopenye. Tmbh2 bilemane org dok wat muke terkejot puyu bile dorg tnye soklan poyo "baru balik Jepon eyh? keje ape skrg?"
i pom dgn bangga dan b'besor hatinye pon bg jawapan poyo,
"keje kilang."
tros muke jadi kaler biru. hah! blakang2 dok p 'puji' kt kito g mnuntut smpi nk dkt ke cino doh (dkt2 la tuh jepon china), tp blik2 kije kilang.
nk wt lagu manee tu jek yg mampu.

drpd sy merompak as freelancer, kan?


hoi orang Malaysia, insaf please. Jgn merompak tolong. Kesian kt kami2 yg hidup ketakutan nih.
and oyeaahh klu sume org study obersee blik jd menteri, menteri2 kite skrg yg bijak pndi tu nk dibuang ke mne, btol x? hueh.

i am aging.

dalam banyak-banyak hari, i do hate 17th May the most.

because it is a day before my birthday.

i dunno why, and i dunno if other people do have the same problem and issue like me, but seriously, i'm a little bit emotional on this date. i feel down, especially when i am all alone. i feel sad, frustrated for no reason, and the most important thing is, i DO feel old. i am aging.

i did notice this problem when i was in AAJ, during my first year in UM. for some reason, i could feel the gloomy aura creeping into my heart, especially during the late evening. i tended to not to talk to people, but, i didn't want to be left alone. 

what is this problem? why am i behaving like this?

seperti kebiasaannya, sy terus laju menaip papan kekunci cuba mengugel apekah permasalahan jiwa ini. secara seriusnya, ia amat mengganggu gugat jiwa sy yg masih muda ini. kenapa sy berperasaan begini, kenapa sy berkelakuan sebegini.

'birthday stress'

'stress before birthday'

'a day before birthday'

okey, dia kua lagu ke tajuk movie ke hape ntah. tp yg penting, sy tidak bertemu jawapannya.

ad yang memberikan pandangan, kesedihan mungkin kerana bakal menamatkan zaman sesuatu angka, dan bakal beralih ke suatu angka yang baru. kemudian sy meningkah, 'age is just a number'

suda begitu, kenapa berat hatinya?

sy tidak mahu bersendirian. 'mungkinkah anda takut tiada siapa yang bakal meng'wish birthday anda nanti?' dan kemudian sy menjawab lagi, 'sekarang zaman siber, segalanya di fesbuk saje. tiada lagi prank call dari kgkwn, bersorak menyanyikan lagu Allah selamatkan kamu. tiada lagi kejutan balingan kek, mahupun tepung serta telur. dunia da maju'

habis tu kenapa?

sy terasa esok sy bakal tua. sy yg esok, sudah tidak sama dgn sy yg harini. mungkin betul, peralihan angka, sebenarnya sedikit sebanyak mengimpak sy. tiada teman di sisi, ye, sy takut tiada siapa yang mengingati 18 May itu sebagai hari kelahiran sy. sy bimbang kekecewaan itu bakal membuatkan sy mengalirkan air mata, jadi lebih baiklah sy bersama seseorang walaupun seseorang itu tidak pernah tahu pun hari esok bakal menjadi tarikh keramat kelahiran sy.

alah, hari jadi sekadar hari jadi, apa yg penting sgt pon kn?

eyh. sy pn x penah smbut kot masa kecik2. mak ayah sy pon entah entah dah x ingat pun kot esok adalah tarikh 24 tahun yang lepas ibu sy dikejarkan ke hospital buat kali pertama. sy bukanlah anak yg sulung, empat abang berderet di atas. tp, nk buat mcm mne, anak hujung, xnk keluar tgok dunia walaupun da smpi masanya, terpaksalah mak sy menggendong sy terlebih masa. last-last ke hospital jugaklah jawabnya. abang yg lain, lega jek mudah saje bersalin bidan kampung, di rumah sje sambutnye.

anak special lah katekan, nk buat mcm mne ye dak?

yg penting, terima kasih emak, sudi melahirkan sy. terima kasih sabar menggendong sy lebih dri 9bulan. terima kasih sbb mak x campak sy ke mana-mana. terima kasih mak x gugurkan sy. terima kasih untuk segalanya.

doakan sy menjadi anak yg baik. doakan sy tidak berkesudahan si tanggang moden. doakan sy sempat membalas jasa kedua orang tua, walaupun sy tahu emas berlian xkn mampu membayar segala pengorbanan mereka. hanya Allah yg mampu membalas sewajarnya.

mungkin sebenarnya, rse semakin tua, tetapi amalan tidak setara mana. jiwa tahu jasad semakin menghampiri mati, tetapi akal mudah meningkah tidak perlu fikirkan lagi. 

duhailah hati, yappari bukan dipegang oleh diri sendiri.

bajet artis sekejap.

anyway, perot sy bukan buncit, sy x suka mengunyah ais. tu angin yg terbang-terbangkan baju sy.

-graduation day, 23 March 2013-

selamat hari ibu.

selamat hari guru.

selamat hari jadi sy.

Malaysia Terchenta

last entry, lebih daripada dua bulan yang lalu. phewwww, habuk penuh bertampuk-tampuk. yang putih jadi hitam, yang hitam semakin hitam. 

ehem ehem. assalaaaaaaamualaikum!

alhamdulillah, langsung menaip dari tanah air terchenta, bumi Malaysia. alhamdulillah lagi, saya masih bernafas and insyaAllah tiada sebarang penyakit kronik lagi. alhamdulillah juga, segala anggota badan serba serbi masih sempurna. alhamdulillah, ye, sy masih bernyawa.

dua bulan di Malaysia, pheww, xperlu diterangkan lagi. bukan mudah untuk saya kembali mengadaptasi diri dengan budaya sendiri. terhumban ke sebuah negara maju yang megah serta rakyatnya yang mengamalkan polisi people first, ye, saya mengaku, sedikit sebanyak apabila pulang ke Malaysia, bibir ini tidak habis terkumat-kumit memaki serta mencaci. rungutan demi rungutan dilemparkan saban hari. kerenah birokrasi yang merumitkan, perihal kakitangan kaunter servis yang semacam they're the BOSS, urusan pembelian yang leceh dek kerana si penjual yang tiada wang kecil untuk tukaran, aspek kebersihan terutamanya tandas-tandas awam yang langsung tidak dipedulikan, perilaku atas jalan raya yang serius langsung tidak sopan, tidak lupa pula dibicarakan perihal keselamatan, warga mudanya yang kurang ajar, biadap langsung tiada rasa hormat, usikan sinis dan nakal si rempit-rempit jalanan, sumpah, saya ingin segera kembali ke Japan.

ye, serius, saya cukup tertekan pada minggu-minggu pertama sekembalinya ke Malaysia. jika sebelum ini, ketika pulang bercuti, segala hal ini saya pandang remeh dan langsung malas untuk difikirkan lebih daripada sepuluh saat, kerana sy tahu, di sini bukan tempat sy, sy bakal pulang, sy akan kembali ke Japan. jd, sy hanya perlu bersabar, dan bertahan, hanya untuk seketika. tetapi, kali ini, segala-galanya sudah berubah. i'm here for good. mahu tidak mahu, saya perlu menghadap semua ini sampai mati. or, maybe at least smpi suatu jangka masa tertentu yang buat masa ini kelihatannya seperti forever.

kedengarannya seperti kronik benar bukan? seumpama nampak betapa benci dan tidak hinginnya saya tinggal di Malaysia, betapa suka dan sayang serta agungnya saya menjunjung Japan. sungguh wajar saya dibuang negara bukan?

oh, tidak diambil kira lagi isu semasa. perdebatan politik di sana sini, isu racism, yang sini mengkafirkan sana, yang sana membodohkan sini. tambah hangat, muda-mudi negara yang semuanya berlagak pandai tahu serba-serbi. saya tidak tahu apa yang sebenarnya telah berlaku kepada anak muda negara kita. oh mungkin bukan hanya anak muda, tapi semuanya. oh serius, bencinya saya berada di dalam situasi ini.

namun begitu, heh, hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, kan? setinggi mana ditatang Japan tuh, seenteng mana dipandang Malaysia ni, saya tetap anak Malaysia. ye, sy Melayu yang mudah lupa, tetapi tidak begitu susah untuk kembali mengingatkan sy. 19 tahun sy di bumi sendiri berbanding hanya 4 tahun di negara orang, takkan sebegitu mudah nak membuang terus negara sendiri kan? ye, memang betul rata-rata manusianya kurang beradab dan bajet hebat, tetapi masih muncul segelintir yang baik bukan? yang benar-benar berbudi bahasa dan ikhlas membantu, yang sedang berusaha cuba untuk membangkitkan kembali modal insan rakyat Malaysia. ye, masih wujud golongan itu.

dan tak salah andainya saya juga berusaha untuk turut membantu menjadi salah seorang daripada penyumbang itu. 

mari wujudkan Malaysia yang indah kawan-kawan.

tulisan saya kali ini mungkin kedengarannya agak melampau. mungkin tidak wajar. tapi, tak salah kot nak mengkritik perkara yang benar kan? sedangkan kritikan Rajagopal pun pihak FAM xley nak sabitkan kesalahan, apelah sgt nak dibandingkan dgn kritikan sy yang hanya sekelumit kuman ni pon x sampai. heh.

nampak x saya bersamping tuh? haaa. jgn maen2. hiks.

-Borobudur, April 2013-

counting days 2 - i love my lab.

i'm missing the kenkyushitsu life already.

even compared to other laboratories, or other departments, ours can be said as spending the least time in lab, but still, there are times when we're all together staying up late till pass the midnight, running for the deadline and so on.

it was so much fun, and i'm pretty sure, i'm gonna miss them a lot.

after a while since the summer vacation, this is the first time for all of 7 of us were in the lab. our first zentai zemi was around the corner back then, so all of us were kinda nervous and dun really know how to do the presentation and so on.

and that was when we're coming closer to each other. well, since we're doing our final year project on our own, i mean, the experiments, the themes, all are different, so we dun have that much opportunities to talk to each other.

because we are the production system laboratory which almost 90 percents of the idea is about the best profit generated from the minimum time period with the maximum usage of workforce, so, this is what we do when we were given the task to submit 60 copies of our presentation abstracts by combining all 7 of ours into booklet type. kerjasama membawa berkat lah katakan.

our mid term presentation. our lab was the last to present, which was around 4 to 5 o'clock in the evening. so, instead of being nervous, we're all more to become exhausted of waiting.

ahah! same things were done for the final presentation. see, dat tallest guy. i'm always telling my friends that he's sumwhat similar with the big bang's TOP. i know TOP is wayyyyyyyy handsome-er, kakkoi-er, and er er er, but, i just wanna say that their voice type is similar - man deep voice, then, their behavior, i mean from what i see lah, then, their size of course. haha!

not to mention, their eyes ;p

done submitting our abstracts for the final presentation. see, we did everything in jemaah! even one person is enough for submitting those booklets, but we prefer to do it together, and that is why i really love them.

my lab members. spotted that awet muda bapak of mine in the front. phew, genki de ne otousan. 1nenkan hontouni hontouni osewa ni natte orimasu. ima no genjiten dewa hontouwa mada mada owattenainn desuga, tonikaku saki ni yutttoku wa, arigatai kimochi wo tsutaetai.

and also, those 3 kakang-kakang gue, makasih ya bapak bapak sekalian. iAllah panjang usia, kita ketemu lagi ya. saya menunggu bapak2 ke Malaysia, iA i'd give u all my warm welcome.

me and tasshi. everyone know that we're both workaholic (i can't really comment on this), and we spend much of our time together in the lab. even since my first year here, i already know that me and tasshi can really get together well, because there are some certain things similar within us. when it comes to study, we talk the same words. we compete in silence but we both know that we're competing each other. when we talk about future things, our ideas and our imaginations match really well. she's gonna walk the way i'd walk, i'm gonna take the path she'd take. i like her, she is really one of a kind.

eyh, but i do love my other friends too. hehehe, minna, daisuki dayo!

dandan samishikunattekita ne. 

i went to lab today, to edit my thesis and see my sensei, but only tasshi there. she came to print something. and then, there're only two of us, from seven of undergrad students. we both talked about the pertemuan and perpisahan. haih.. how time flies..

i'm gonna end the entry just like this. because i'm getting sadder and sadder as i'm typing this entry.

sore jya!

graduation trip yeww

1 march 2013, 29 hari lagi bakal berubah tempat kaki bermastautin.

oh mai goddddd.. betapa pantasnya masa berlalu.

dan betapa beratnya hati ni nk meninggalkan bumi japang nih.

adeyh, xnk pk.

anyway, me and my beloved friends went for graduation trip few days ago. it was sooo dang awesome! i bet  i lost few kilos for the mountain climbing and so on, yet, due to my big appetite, unfortunately i've got few kilos plus plak gyakuni. bluerghhhh. whatever, it's not like i'm overweight or what, my bmi is still normal though. *menyedapkan diri sendiri*

our last trip together i guess. excited all over since from the early morning. shinkansen from mihara to osaka, then rented car from osaka.

wakayama, here we come!

first day, enjoying the sunset view at white sand beach. it is white, seriously no joke.

our first night in super duper cute hostel. it was very cozy, first class service, washlet of course, the scenery was superb!

second day, pendakian pertama. ketahuilah, perjalanan itu sememangnya masih jauh. masih jaaaaaaaaauh.

this is only the beginning.

kumado. i think kumado is jalan yg batu2 mcm tuh, mse x hujan, it was fun lah, ble da hujan, kasut terslip sket, mmg tergolekmolek lah ke bawah.

well, that uncle had done his best capturing our picture, so i have to say, yea dis pic is pretty nice. huhuh.

sy yg kelihatan sebegitu tinggi sekali. perghh. ni muke bahagie setelah bergadai nyawa 2 jam adrenalin mengalir deras meredah gunung ganang yg jalannye berkeluasan hanyalah sekangkang kera, ditambah buruk keadaan lori besaq dok lalu lalang menyebabkn kereta kami seringkali hampir tercampak ke lurah gunung gaung setiap kali berselisih. hadeyy. nk describe mcm mne perasaannye pon payah.

tp pulang dri tmpt ni, kami semua belajar baaanyak perkara.

pertama, terowong jalan perlu dihargai. 20 minit perjalanan jd 2jam perjalanan memusing gunung dek kerana terowong xley pakai akibat ad runtuhan.

kedua, jalan lebar saaaangat bermakna. 

ketiga, muafakat membawa berkat. org kiri dok jaga balance kiri, org kanan dok jaga balance kete kanan, org blakang dok tenung tym nk reverse2 tym selisih kete dri depan.

keempat, hidup perlu maju ke depan. signboard sblom jalan msok gunung, 'once masok xley patah balik' - lebih kurg mcm ni lah bunyinya. tashikani, mmg lgsg xd ruang utk kami patah balik. 

kelima, kata2 semangat itu penting. my friend yg drive keep kate, 'oh penat, oh impossible, oh i can't do dis' n siyesly keadaan agk tense tmbh2 ble hujan turun. tp, dgn wujudnya kami berlima yg setiap minit dok ckp 'ganbare emi cang, ganbare, mou chotto da yo, mou sugu tsuku yo' n bla2, alhmdlh, we made it!

keenam, something yg not easy utk kte achieve, yappari nilainya saangatlah besar. habis- habisan ktorg sugosu jikan kt cni dek kerana begitu lelahnye nk smpi ke cni. haha.

ok, enuff menaip.

dan inilah tempatnya. haha! world heritage kot nih. ia sebenarnya hanyalah jalan kecik di atas puncak gunung, and i'm not really sure knp ia jd world heritage sbnonye.

ahhah! photographer nk msok gmbaq jue! third day.

kali ni kembali mendaki dgn kaki, this was actually our 3rd pendakian. and we thought we could finish it.......

penat mendaki jalan x berpenghujung, kyukei sat snap snap.

yet, we gave up. it was endless. dgn kabus tebalnya, hutan banat sebegini, kami sayangkan nyawa kami.

muke bahagia setelah berpenat lelah menapak. posing x paham knpe nk kne wat cmtuh. ceyh.

then, bateri kamera abes. tettttt.

trip kali ni, mata sy seriussssssss segar bugar. meredah hutan banat, gunung ganang, hijau merata alam, subhanallah, indahnya bumi ciptaan Tuhan.

3hari, 40% adelah atas kereta. well, name pon road trip. huewh2. x kesahlah, yg penting mase di spend bersama tuh. huuuuu.

3hari feels like less than one day. cepat betul mse berlalu kan.

last dinner together.
will be missing u guys.

thanks a lot for these meaningful 4 years. suke duke pahit manis kite tempuh bersama. gelak ketawa riang ria juge bersama. ponteng wat jahat pon jemaah bersama. waahh i miss those time!

we'll be meeting again in Malaysia soon. i promise i'll give u all the best annai eva!

love u guys!

xoxo

counting days

the final presentation is over,

was over,

the last two days.

that was me, concluding my presentation.

not as good as i had wanted it to be,

not that bad though.

it was just fine.

and now i'm counting days, not for me for leaving my beloved japan, but for others for leaving me,

oh i hate those feeling.

how i wish we don't have to go anywhere, just need to stay at the same place, doing the same thing we're doing right now. even there'll be time we'll be bored of each other, or maybe perhaps on the things we're doing endlessly the same, but, we just can figure out the solution together.

there're still so much thing to do, so much journey to be traveled, so much fun to be experienced together.

so much.

i'm hating the word goodbye.

why does it have to exist?

we were once young.

we were once young.

and we've grown up together.

great dad to be.

great man to be.

great cooker to be.

great mum to be.

awesome wannabe!

may Allah guide our ways.

may we get what the best for us.

wish d best of luck for the five of us.

Hiroshima University students, batch 2009.