heart heart heart!

it's winter, and my sense of dressing is getting weirder and weirder day by day. aging symptom perhaps, women at their mid 20's might feel this way as well i guess.

or, is it just me?

being paranoid. ohemgeee.

anyway,

nice kan?

because i heart them a lot a lot really lots

4 years of ups and downs, joys and tears, trusts and betrayals, loves and breakups,

we face them all together. 

for all this time, thanks.

wonderful friends of mine, another 3 months to go until the sayonara kotoba.

jya!

n btw, happy new year!

gigi kottt

such a loooooooong day today.

otsukare untuk diri sendiri, dan otsukare untuk mata yg membengkak. why it is bengkak?

"i tot u gado dgn mr.X", 

sapa inche rumet sebaik sy menapak ke dapur (selepas hampir 10minit meraung di dalam bilik). bukanlah meraung sgt, cume esak sedu sedan nye boleh masok klasifikasi meraung lah.

"gado ng mr.X pn i xpenah meraung smpi mcm ni umi", spontan terkeluar jawapan.

 maka, bermulalah sesi penceritaan. tp sebelum tu,

"umi, i x reti nak wat bubur. huhu", sambung teresak-esak. inche rumet yg seakan paham2 tros bwk kuar periuk bagai. dan, teciptalah dis bubur nasik+jagung yg enak lagi lazat.

kelihatan sungguh lazat kan? phewww. memang lazat pon. see, those yellow naisu jagung, penaik selera tuh.

haha. jatuh saham giler smpi bubur pon da xreti nk masak.sebulan sblom kawen nnt i practice ye. hew3.

berbalik kepada cerita, masih ingat gmbr di bwh ini?

supposed to be the end of our 'love'. i mean, me and inche dentist (yg tampan lagi menawan).

but who knows, terselit pulak adek-adek gigi yg memberontak secara senyap. makanya, setelah cuba bertahan utk beberapa hari mengatasi kesakitan yg tiba-tiba datang, tahap kebertahanan sy hari ini smpi ke limitnya. after few tablets of pain killer, finally i'm there, again, satomi dental.

"what's wrong? everything seems fine though," (ok tpu, abg dentist ckp in jepang lah)

"ha ga meccha itakute, yoru mo nemurenai shi, itami dome no kusuri mo nandomo nandomo nondeteta shi, demo, mata, itai desu. sugoku sugoku itai desu. namida deteru hodo itai desu," (ayat eleberet hiper)

"soudesuka. iya, hontouni nanimo nakatta desukedo,"

sudah, salingnya was-was. diketuk-ketuk sana, diketuk-ketuk sini.

"kochi no hou itai?" sy m'geleng.

"kochi ra wa?" sy m'geleng lg.

"kocchi wa dou?" pun sy geleng.

"de, doko ga itai desuka?" abg dentist blur, sy pn blur.

"1jikan mae ni wa chotto itami dome no kusuri wo nondetandesukedo.. ima wa chotto bimyou.." terkerut-kerut dahi sy nk m'explain.

"i think this one yg rosak", kompiden che abg smbil pki besi steel dy tu ketuk-ketuk gigi sy.

"chigau. sore jyanai desu. kocchi no hou desu," keras sy melawan, smbil tunjuk gigi sebelahnya.

"iya.. demo.. soto wa sugoku kirei de, mae mo mou naoshitan deshou? sono toki mushiba ga sonnani ookuwanai to omou.." smbil bebel bebel bebel.

"itai desu.. sugoku," sy mampu balas mcm tu jek.

"soto ga mienai kara, shinkei ga warui jyanai desuka? shinkei ga warui to omou node, jya, shinkei torimashou ka?" 

terase separuh nyawaku hilang. terbayang-bayang lg ngeri previous nye canal tooth treatment, and skrg he's pointing another canal treatment for my tooth. the worst part is, GIGI DEPAN KOTT!!

can u imagine that kesakitan?

plus, he not even sure which one of my tooth yg sakit, me neither, lg lah, lepas diketang-ketang ketuk sana sini, kebas kot dah sume. xmmpu nk rse da gigi mne sbnanye yg saket. tibe2 sume da jd sakit.

"jya, mazu chotto scan shiyo. kono futatsu no bun dake," sy hnye mngangguk tanda setuju. kot salah gigi yg saket kang, x pasal2 gigi x bersalah menjadi korban. dipendekkan citer, selepas di scan pon abg dentist bimyo xjupe kt mne yg rosak. makanya, b'putus asa, terpaksa panggil inche bapak dtg tgokkan.

well, dtgnye inche bapak, pelbagai mesin bliaw angkut sekali utk mengecek gigi mne yg m'berontak. xlupe, sumkind of toothpaste yg mcm sensodyne disapu rata ats gigi sy. n as the result, turn out that one gigi yg sy dok argue dgn inche abg kate saket tu mmg da x rosak pon. d one yg dy point tu yg mmg rosak, sassuga inche abg. n worse come to worst, gigi sebelahnye pon skali da DEAD. 

bygknlah apa perasaan sy saat itu? 2 gigi arnab kt depan ni da disahkan mati. tiada apa yg mmpu dilakukn melainkn canal treatment. urat-urat yg t'libat pon da t'infect sgt teruk smpikn mse dy masokkn jarum gerigi utk buang urat tu, meraung sy kt situ. meraung bkn mulut sje, tgn sekali naik dok bersilat dgn tgn bapak dentist. haih.. even saat menaip ni pon terasa-rasa lagi sakitnye proses canal td.

the obats, this time seems very serious smpi bertambah ubat-ubat sy. mungkin sbb doc tgok sy menangis td kot, makanya dikasinya ubat lebih. hew3. 

"kanarazu chanto nomu!" akak nurse baek ht cube memujuk. malu tu ada, tp dok saket yg x tahan sgt ni, x sempat nk pk dah kau nsem kau x nsem, mnangis xley nk tahan gk. phewwwww~ jatuh lg saham.

kesimpulannya, adik-adik, listerine dan colgate tidak menjamin keselamatan gigi-gigi anda. pelihara gigi-gigi anda sebagaimana anda memelihara nyawa anda. gigimu nyawamu.

sakit gigi tu saket yg paling menyakitkn selepas saket sakaraaatulmaut dan saket ibu bersalin tahu?

makanya, sebelum terlambat, marilah berhenti makan manis-manisan secara overdose. memang, kau makan kek 100kilo pon badan kau x naik, itu naisu thing, tp, gigi-gigi adik-adik tu, yakin dan kompiden mereka tidak memberontak?

makanya, entry pada hari ini, memang berkisar tentang GIGI. see the tajuk laa.. gigi kott. haha

oh, gmbr penutup. (kasi up blik saham2 yg jatuh tuh)

takaya elementary school, 4th year kids. 

saket2 gigi pn sempaaat.

"eyh, sensei ni naru jyanai no? mezurashii desune..kougakubu dattan da..sugoku yokatta desudesukedo, sensei mitai"

org jepang ni, punyeeelah suke memuji utk amek hati smpi kite xtahu pon pujian mereka itu pujian yg wajar diterima ke tidak. tapi, menjenguk dari sekolah ke sekolah, dan dlm keadaan sensei-sensei m'expect kite as someone from kyouiku or sougokagakubu yg mmg same ade suda b'profession as a teacher, or sumone yg mmg mezasu utk m'jd guru, it is really satu penghormatan.

and, i have come to know that, one thing, i do enjoy teaching and spending time with the kids.

secondly, i think that is the best talent in me.

should i be a teacher instead of an engineer?

heee.

cukup naik saham x? x perlu tinggi-tinggi, nanti terjatuh kalo xmati, patah riuk semua.

babai!

i am not stupid. i am workaholic. so what?

mari merungut tentang kenkyuu.

dua tiga menjak ni da jarang jumpe kgkwn melayu selain inche osmet, jd proses melepaskn stress tu agak kurang. jadi, mari melepaskannya di belog. ehem ehem, wat ayat poyos sket, belog i suke hati i lah. haha.

*terase gedip*

dis week 2 kali zemi, sebagai pengganti 10hari xd zemi haritu. zemi first, sensei saaaaangatlah x berpuas hati as if i were doing nothin. tiada progress yg dy harapkn.

next zemi proceed 2hari selepasnya which was yesterday. i've tried to give my best. sume org kt lab tu pon tau what did i do, seriously memang muke ini yg jd penghuni tetap lab tuh. 5days per week, pagi ke malam. yea, i know, org laen kt dai laen or myb kt lab laen lg lah, smpi weekend pn kne pegi lab, n blik malam tu adalah hal normal. 

but not for us. seriously.

my friend sorang tu, hari ada zemi jek dy dtg lab tunjuk muke. dtg 2jam awal mcm tu, pastu dok skecth2 draft paper nk present kt sensei. n everytime i tnye 'how's the progress?', i'll get d same answer, 

'zenzen susundenai yo~~'

well, org jepun kn. kdg2 mulut jek ckp lgsg xd progress gtu, but then i took a look at her program. serius, memang sebaris pn x bertambah since mid-term presentation hari tu which has been about a month ago.

wanna know the difference?

during this one month, i even have to change my software, start learning it from zero without any books, just online tutorial or something like that, have to transfer my previous model from the previous software to the new software which i have to sketch the model from zero, again. i'm doing the same thing, the same model which i had spent almost one semester to finish, but this time within a month, in fact a week.

'because u have done it before, i dun think u'll have any problem this time' - sensei said as he told me i need to change my software due to the lack of functionality for the previous one. and i just nodded. because, after all, it is for my own sake, and i have already promised myself that i would do my best for the final presentation, which mean, i need to work really hard for the remaining of my final year project.

then, there comes the jinx and some weird people who i dun even know why they do exist in this world.

'u're working too hard. u're stressing yourself too much..'

'ganbari sugi yarou.. yaranakutemo ii yo.. u take it so serious, majime da ne..

u dun have to do dat, u dun have to do dis, n bla bla bla n bla bla bla'

frankly speaking, i really hate this type of people. my most utterly ichiban dai dai dai hated phrase is 

'ganbari sugi yarou~~'

why do they have to co-exist in this world with me in the first place?

why? why do i have to encounter such of that people in my life?

maybe, i have to admit, 

i'm born workaholic.

when i am on something, especially when it is very clear to me that i have to bear any loss or failure if i'm not getting it right, then, i am really giving my hundred percents for it. 

for example, if i have any exams.

it is very very much clear to me that if i fail that exam, or if i can't manage to have good score, good result, i'll have to face the circumstance such as mental disruption (as i can't handle failure that well), or have to repeat the paper, or might be worse, have to face the repeat year risk, n etc. this kind of aftereffect is so much clear even the dumbest person on earth can think of them. so, i'll try my best not to fail. either i want to study harder to decrease my possibility of failure, or i'll just do it on 'lek-lek ah' mode and think about the result later, the choice is all mine.

as i am not stupid, i'll choose to study hard, give it the best, as i dun want to regret it later.

same goes with the kenkyu.

it is all in me, all in my hand. either i want to go to the lab everyday and do the kenkyuu majimeni, wholeheartedly, or just do it so-so, show your face to the sensei once a week, attend lab only for zemi, the choice is all depend on me. i know, maybe, after i grad and i start to work at the company, this my final year project might be nothing to me as well to my work, but, who knows, maybe, through the process of i'm giving my best to do it well, i would get something much more useful for my future. instead of just thinking this fyp as your ticket for your graduation, why not making it more meaningful as an unforgettable stage in your life which teach u lesson to live better?

and that is what i am trying to do. instead of just take it as a ticket for graduate, i want to make it more like my own life for this one year, that's why i need to give it my best. i dun want to look like a fool when people ask me what i am doing within this one year and the thing that i can only say is ' i dunno lah. just spending time buang masa kt lab. i dunno what i am doing. n bla bla bla.'

at least, i want to appreciate my own pride and soul by being able to say

 'oh.. i studied about dis bla bla thing, dat bla bla model, then, bla bla program'

it is not wrong to have such desire right?

after all, life is just like that. all is depend on yourself, either u want to make it so much valuable and something u can be proud of, or else, u leave any space for regret after passing half of your ages, it is all depend on u. 

this kind of mind thinking is so much reminding me of my interview session with the company representatives  during the career fair. they asked me about this kind of thing. the choices.

well, if u are not stupid, then prove it by choosing your path wisely.

kembali kepada topik.

kenkyuu is penat. n bertambah penat bile sensei dok push kite mcm kite xwat ppe, padahal depan mata kite berlambak orang laen yg memang xwat pape. well, think positive, sensei trust kite to do well. so, of course, he'll put extra expectation, and to answer that expectation we have to do it really well according to his pace. 

ganbare wawa! 

actually, u do enjoy this phase of your life kan?

yep, i'm loving it. just, once a while i got tired and that is the time when i need to muntahkan ia di belog ini. hew3.

jya!

minna mo ganbare!

blue song~

The Winter's gone and the spring has come

We've withered away

Our hearts are torn from the yesterdays

Im singing my blues

I'm used to the tears, the doubt and the fears That hold me oh

Im singing my blues

I hope you can see

Im loosing my grip on you oh oh

We're looking up into the same old sky except that you and I 

Are further from the place we used to love

I am leaving you with just a word 

Yea It's selfish girl

But I have never been that good with words

Oh this could be the end of our dream

No one can help me

Maybe this is our final scence 

Watch the curtain closing drop down low

to bad now Ive got nothing to show

The moment I met you this I Know

I'd always Let my loving show

But I have lost my way into the blue

And when I close my eyes I pray we'll see it through

I wish that I could feel my cold heart

But We're so far apart, just like the ocean that's between our love

Your type of love is like a trauma 

When all is said and done

Ill dry my tears and think of what we were 

My apathy is all Ive got for now

Nothing gonna hold me down 

I cant take your complicated run around 

And I don't care if you aint there for me now

Cause I got a new sound 

People come and go like downtown

And when the night has come and were underneath the stars

Thinking what went wrong 

Falling asleep alone, but you always know

that even in my dreams I sing this song....

menari-nari lagu ni dalam kepala.

makan mandi tidur jaga, berlari-lari lirik dy dlm otak. hew3. bese lah, bosan sgt, xd mnde serius laen yg nk dipk kn melaenkn kenkyuu, makanya, menerawang sket minda nih.

oh ni bkn versi asal ye. ia hanya dlm korean n nihongo jek, so yg ni cover version punye. 

sume org dok sebok komen ckp auto tune n bla3, tp since i ni bknlah org amek major muzik, jd xpndi la nk komen2 nih. yg penting, sedaaaaaaaap.

cume, suara tang part TOP tu mmg shouganai la xley nk tiru kan. ahakkks.

mampu nk tiru?

hew3.

disember!

hello disember!

siang terbayang-bayang, malam termimpi-mimpi.

eheh.

missing you.

hisashiburi berperasaan begini tgok citer korea.

perlu segera kembali ke realiti, harus segera matikan curiosity, n kne kurangkn sket level emosi.

paaaaaaanjang lg citer ni nk smpi ke penghujungnya.

prasaan sama mcm tym tgok citer fugitive/plan B yg rain dok berlakon dlu.

cume kali ni lebih sadiss n tragis.

ouh i hate korean drama.

kerana diriku begitu berharga ;D

"mak, pagi td kene sengat binatang.." sobssss sket.

"xpelah.. sje nk bg rase la tuh. adik kn xpenah kne sengat dek pape, stakat kerengga mse kecik2 pon da lalung.." (lalung is melalak menangis dlm bahase perok)

terdiam sekejap.

aahlah, seumur hidup, ni first time kne sengat cmni.

and i'm not really sure la tu sbnonye lebah ke, tebuan ke, penyengat ke, ntah hape2 lagi lah serangga penyengat yg seangkatan dgnnye. yg penting, ia mempunyai sengat, n ia menyakitkan.

sou ieba, sy memang x tahan saket.

mslh jugaklah setiap kali nk tampal gigi nk kne bius dlu, dek kerana x tahan saket. smpi abg dentist pon pening nk melayan. hew3.

nanti nk kawen dgn inche dentist lah!

*tibetibe kan*

dulu-dulu dok berangan nk kawen dgn inche dokter. eheee. bukan sbb inche dokter bergaji kaya, tp sbb terasa mcm selamat bile inche dokter sentiasa berada di sisi. klo buley letak dlm poket, lama dah sy wat, smbil usung ke hulu ke hilir. plus, save sket la xya g jupe n bayar dokter laen kt klinik. ehehee.

skrg ni, dentist pn mcm menarik. nnt kot2 saket gigi lagi kot kang, senang sket, inche abe bley tgok kn. huahuahua. berangan tahap petala ketujuh dah nih.

kerana diriku begitu berharga! *iklan sekejap*

eyh bakal suami inche engineer pon ap salahnye. kerana engineering itu cool lagi menawan, 

seperti sy *uhuk uhuk*

iA soon to be engineer ;)

p/s-eyh, sy bukan mata duitan. tidak sama sekali. tidak memandang darjat ataupun nama. kerna sy jugk insan biasa. tp beselah, nama pun berangan kn. mne ade org berangan mende yg m'bosankan. hew3.

sumpah, i am really sorry.

i used to be a very hot-blooded person.

maybe, still i am.

and i'm fine with it since i'll get angry for reasons, not silly one, but through my right-mind state judgment, i'm not wrong for being angry, though maybe how i'm expressing my anger is pretty much hateful.

but i've come to hate myself when it happens to my family, especially towards my parents. when they are doing something that i can't really accept, or something i don't like, i just can't hold my anger no matter how hard i try to suppress them.

and that's what happened just now, through the phone. i was not aware of my high voice tone. i kept saying something that i know would hurt my mom, and i can't even control it. and after seconds, my heart hurt so much thinking of the fact that i was hurting her. and even worse, i can't even say sorry.

that is the difference, between a mom and a friend.

it is way easier to say sorry to a friend compared to asking forgiveness from a mother, or a father. i'm born that way. even on hari raya, we don't have that salam-salam mohon ampun on the pagi raya. and we're not the type of family who will normally and spontaneously confessing love towards each other. so, it's kinda weird and awkward to say sorry even after making a mistake. 

i still remember a year ago, same thing happen. i got angry to my mom, and that was the worst ever happen in my life. regretting what had happened for few days, finally i was able to bring up myself to say sorry to her. and u know what was her response?

she cried, a lot. i meant, really really lot which made me spilling my tears too. it was too heartbreaking and make me realize that she must be holding her feeling really well since she always act like everything is fine.

and from that day on, i've promised myself that i'll control my anger well, and behave myself.

but today, my anger just cracked out again.

i hate myself!

but i hate the one who's being the issue in our talk which lead to this tense between us, more.

and now, again, i am full of regret, wishing everything was never happen. had we not talked about that matter, we would happily end our phone talk like always. 

it must be hard for my mom to have such a daughter like me.

being sorry is actually not gonna help anything until u interpret it into words.

i know that.

but, i'm just unable to bring up myself to say that sorry word again, at least till the moment i'm writing this post. i keep telling myself, that mom would just know, how much i'm regretting my bad behavior to her, how much i hate myself for not being able to say sorry to her. i wish my mom know that.

at least, with Allah's will, she knows, i love her so much.

old pitch, da 3kali kot huplod kt belog nih.

my mom, x sevogue mama-mama yg laen, tp tervogue di hati ini.

i am really sorry mother.

i really really am.

kahwin. kawen. kawin?

ehem ehemmm. undangan wedding di sana sini.

haih, jgnlah wat sy terasa seperti sy ni tua sgt n da masok fasa umo wajib kawen boleh x?

i'm 23 years old baru!

ok, soon to be 24 la kan.

tp my ideal age nk kawen is 25, another 2 years to go.

tp, adekah pada zaman itu nnt 25 tu da dikira macam anak dara lanjut usia?

ohemgeeee.

bayangkanlah umo 13tahun pun da kawen? kembali ke zaman retro mak ayah kita hok kawen muda-muda tu dulu ke kite nih?

well, trending zaman memang sebegitu kan. yg lama akn up blik m'jd trending t'kini, contoh paling senang, tudung bunga2 dlu tuh. oh x dilupakn jugak, style pakai serkup kepala smpi terkeluar tuh. owh, sungguh x indah. klo beberapa tahun dulu org akn ckp, siyes MAKCIK gilerrr. tp skrg, haih, fesyen tudung kalah benggali.

oh melalut plak.

layan lagu sket. lullaby sungguh utk tdo kan?

mud sedeyh sgt la tp nye... haiss.. layan kan aje.

iitai kotonye di sini, oh anda semua, jgnlah kawen cepat sgt. 

fesbuk berlambak giler gmb org kawen dok suwit-suwit peluk sana peluk sini. paling xley blah gmb nk b'cium bagai. hoitt, tau la da halal. tp agak-agaklah jugak, agak mental harassment jugaklah terhadap org muda belia yg x kawen lg seperti sy ni tau x? 

tp btol jugak, kalau jodoh da nak dtg kan? ehehehe.

jodoh itukan rahsia Tuhan.

bertemu berpisah, semuanya kuasa Tuhan.

sebab-musabab pertemuan n perpisahan tu mungkinlah tidak berapa enak untuk difikirkan, tp mesti ad reason tertentu di sebalik setiap sesuatu kan?

"to run to anything else is to resist the irresistible. to seek other than the One, is to become scattered, but never filled.

so, on this path to where we began, who else can we run to? what else can we seek? after all, we all want the very same thing: to be whole, to be happy, to again say:

we're home." - reclaim your heart.

eyh, anyway, hamboiii senyap-senyap b'tunang, sejak bilekah itu inche ex?

tp memanglah b'tunang tu kene dirahsiakan kn, soudesune. wajarlah.

semoga berbahagia ke anak cuculah hendaknya.

oh tidak lupa.

go go gaza!

the least we can do.

suda mendonlod application iGaza?

ia adalah application yg sangat sy cadangkan anda m'donlodnya seandainya wujud perasaan ingin mengambil tahu perihal saudara seagama di Gaza sana. beritanya diupdate dengan sangat pantas, malah bukan setakat berita, segala macam info tentang 'perang' yg sedang melanda Gaza-Israel pun ada.

memanglah malam tido x lena dek fon berdering notification berita x henti-henti.

tp bayangkan mereka yg langsung x b'kesempatan untuk tido dek bom kedebum kedebang sana sini m'gegar bumi Gaza.

the least we can do.

x punya cukup ilmu untuk berlagak sy tahu.

tp xkn la pulak nk membodohkan diri dgn berdiam diri supaya terus x tahu.

mari cetuskan minat untuk ambil tahu.

andai rajin dan bersemangat mengoogle tentang artis korea, x salah luangkan sedikit masa untuk google pulak tentang gaza.

"...maybe we should realise, being a practising muslim in every aspect of life can eventually help our beloved brothers and sisters who are suffering out there.."

"questions to you and me

1) hw can Allah answer our prayer to save Gaza if we cnt even wake up on time for subuh?

2) hw can we rule the world when we cnt even manage our time and life properly?

3) hw can we beat israel when we only know hw to complain hw hard studies/research/work is..?

hrm, getting to the point, we have to do our part, because they r doing their part

action speaks louder than words

lets keep spreading the news, lets keep praying, lets improve ourselves!"

tertusuk ke jantung jugaklah membacanya.

beberapa hari lepas terasa sungguh beremosi dek tweet seorang insan yg mengatakan "prayers are for fools", terasa laju aje diri ini nk membalas tuwitnye sambil memaki hamun dek kerana kenyataan agak-biadap-n-bajet-bijak-pandai nya itu.

then, sy b'jaya menenangkan diri dgn mengingatkan diri sendiri, jaga sikit akhlak tu, baru jek usrah blaja pasal akhlak. Islam x ajar maki-maki orang x bape cerdik nih. jadinya sy cuba mengambil tindakan yg sy rsekan lebih wajar n bijak iaitu dgn mendeletenya drpd senarai following sy - usaha untuk m'jge hati sndri.

iitai kotonya di sini, lets keep praying.

n dlm mse yg sme, lets keep improving ourselves.

because that are the least we can do.

mohabbatein~

autumn.

promise me,

u'll never ever betray me,

as i'd try to tolerate anything, 

except for betrayal.

may a bright future ahead!

autumn & jerawat ?

sassuga muka bertatah berlian lah kulit sy nih!

dua hari lepas gedik nk pakai mask kgkonon nk membelai kulit bg mngantok tdo kn, sekali hari ni rse bertubi-tubi jerawat naek bagai cendawan tumbuh selepas hujan.

tidak menarik, lagi sakit.

maka beruntunglah mereka-mereka yg secara semulajadinya telah dikurniakn kulit cantek halus mulus bagai baby baru lahir tanpa perlu berusaha perabis duet bagai utk beli produk kecantikan, mahupun tidak perlu berusaha bermekap tebal berinci-inci utk menutup cela di muka, beruntunglah anda, anda, dan juga anda.

eyh, sy pun beruntung jugak.

lahir lahir, alhamdulillah cukup sifat, hidung mulut mata, kening semuanya susun terletak rapi aje kt muka. alah, setakat cela-cela jerawat gurai, x remajalah kalau xd jerawat ye dak?*ayat sedapkan hati.ngeh2*

pada pandangan sy, sebenonye, seorang wanita *ehem ehem* yg berhadapan dgn masalah kulit muka ni, nayami nya sama aje dgn wanita yg mngalami masalah berat badan, betul x?

berdietlah bagai nak rak pun, bersukan n bersenamlah sehabis tenaga pun, entahkan kenapa payah bebeno berat nk turun, ye dak?turun memanglah turun sekali sekala, tetapi utk mngekalknnye, dan juga m'istiqamahkan usaha, amatlah payah bukan?

dalam 100orang wanita bermasalah berat badan, dan berusaha utk mengatasinya, berapa ramai jek yg berjaya? memaaaaaanglaahhh.. wujud jek kot org2 yg berjaya kuruss setelah berusaha, tp dikalangan org sekeliling kita, boleh dibilang dgn jari kot kan bilangannya.

sameee lah jugak dgn org bermasalah kulit muka. jerawat ni, memang le suke naek ikot dan. tmbh2 klo yg kulit sensitip seperti sy, pantang sket cucuh bendasing kt muke, mula la nk menunjuk perasaan. bukan setakat ketidakmenarikan itu yg memberi impak di jiwa, malah, kesakitannya turut membuatkan rse nk rendam muka dalam air beku biar hilang deria rasa.

kesimpulannya, tiada manusia yg sempurna. 

usah didengki mereka yg berkulit halus mulus, usah didengki mereka yg terlahir sejak azali kuruss. yakin jek la, ada hikmahnya kenapa anda adalah anda yg sekarang. kot kot ki sumanai jugak dgn diri yg sekarang, makanya, sy menyeru anda sekalian, istiqamahlah dlm mencetus perubahan.

biasanya kita ni memang nk kne ad misi n visi serta hala tuju yg kuat bru bley nk kick start btol2 kan?

like my friend, dieting sbb nk kawen, xnk gmbo kawen napok gemok katenye. 

klo kulit muke? 

"tutup dgn mekap 3,4 inchi flawless lah nanti" 

errrr...

tu pon buleh... 

nway, td b'koyou di dai. koyou tu mknenye menikmati daun kuning. ala, autumn kan.. 

my feberet season. ngehehe.

 senpais.

kouhais.

eyh tp gmb ni xbpe nk autumn la plak kan. hui3.

nanti-nantilah huplod gmbo. pasokon ni siyes mencari gadoh, nk kate berat, xpenah le plak donlod bendasing yg memberatkan.

haissssh.

 p/s- dun hate us because we're too beautiful.

p/s2- dun be a loser, speak ur mind. n btw, haters gonna hate kan? huahua!

25 vs 23

pengalaman memang mendewasakan.

memang.

nomikai hari isnin haritu. 

actually welcoming party for inche sono, the one yg depan skali n duduk tuh, center plak tuh *mmg inche sono rashiii*.. phd student from indonesia.

believe me or not, he's 25 y'old, yet already a phd student.

but me, already 23 y'old, yet still an undergraduate student.

how i'd wish i could tukar tmpt with him. hoh, da la tensai.

kadang-kadang bercakap dgn org tensai sgt ni pon otak kte buley jd sewel jugk sbnanye.

sewel sbb tensen dgn dri sndri.haha.

even our age gap is only 2 years, talking to him makes me feel like i'm having conversation with a 40 y'old man. too knowledgeable, and too much experiences. oh maiii...

well, have to admit bliaw ni mmg sgt tensai, even before dy dtg lg sensei-sensei da warning ktorg,

'org yg nk dtg nnt ni stock-stock level tokyo uni tau,' terngiang-ngiang lg kt telinge.

but, a 'teen' is still a 'teen'. haha.

bile masok bab-bab mengarut, dy memang xkn kalah. well, even x smpi 2bulan dy msok lab tuh, semua undergrade da mule suke dy even they can't really communicate that well, and that's the time when my existence is absolutely needed since i am so called 'aruki jisho' (walking dictionary), 

i'm hoping for a better name actually. heh. 

and being a translator is soo much fun i tell u. like pak fitra said,

'hafiza ini entah-entah dikorupsi nya bicara kamu!' 

haha!

agaklaa.. ada la sikit-sikit yg mne sy rse perlu ditukar edit-edit sikit, hehe. ye la, klo lawak-lawak tu susa kot nk translate sebijik-sebijik. anyway, pak fitra is another indonesian phd student, already 40++ y'old, and since pak erwin bfg to indonesia, pak fitra lah yg m'jd unofficial supervisor sy. hehe. dun worry, pak morikawa (morikawa sensei) sentiasa nombor1 di hati *winkwink*

eyh, kesimpulannya nk cakap,

pengalaman mendewasakan.

masih kurang membina pengalaman hidup sy nih. huhu.

hait, korekara motto motto jinsei wo tanoshimou! ippai ii omoide, ii keiken wo tsukurou!

november!

hello November!

been to lab after three days of unofficial holidays, and sy disambut seperti retisss!

homaii.. terase kewujudan diri ini sungguh bermakna. haha. no matter la people define it as exploitation or what, tp, berkeupayaan berbahasa japanese, english and malay, seriously membuatkn diri ini sungguh berharga.

harga seseorang manusia itu letaknya pada kadar ketergunaannya pada masyarakat kan, 

eheh. ayat xbley nk poyo lg. haruss.

nah, untuk insan2 tersayang.

i lap u! ;))

kombo October! ;)

fuuuh fuuuh~ *efek sound tiup habuk di belog*

lama betul x menaip kan? teiuka, berabad jugaklah langsung x menjenguk belog nih. hehe. almaklumlah, orang meningkat dewasa yg semakin bz, sila memahami. huahuahua.

well, seperti biasa. bg hapdet kombo sikit penoh dgn gambar. thehe.

sambutan aidilfitri 2012, 6th October.

kami kelihatan sebaya kn? oh yg belakang tudung pink tu la yg paling kakak. kak azri. ngehehe.

welcoming the autumn season, season of love, autumn in my heart kengkonon.

so called mysterious flower, aki no kaori.

and also the beginning of my hectic life - two weeks of a real 4th year student's life.

zentai zemi, 18th October.

zemi -- rehearsal -- zemi -- rehearsal -- zemi -- rehearsal -- zemi -- rehearsal

sampai muntah.

2nd final rehearsal chuukan, 22th October.

yeah, i'm a student. giat berusaha demi chuukan happyo. iro iro yg berlaku, penat, taihen, frust, down, saket hati, semuanya memang x indah langsung. 

oh, yg indah ialah hubungan kami semua semakin baek, especially dgn 3 lelaki2 jepang tuh. baru mula merasa seperti kawan. eheh, bespren tros kot.huahua.

sempaaattt..... haruslah sempat kan?

huahuahua. bergaman jugak lah, langsung xd mse nk melayan youtube ke drama ke, pape lah. sepanjang mse mngadap pasokon kt lab dgn programming bagai, jgn haraplah blik rumah nk mengadap skrin pc lg kn?

i have my final rehearsal today, 26th October.

yet, it was hari raya aidiladha. 

proudly wearing baju kurung to the lab, and do the presentation.

alhamdulillah, berkat hari raya haji agaknya, sensei lembut hati. and i'm done by 3 o'clock in the evening. rushing back home for doing some preparation for senpai's open house.

senpai's open house.

i guess this year's color theme is pink. and btw, i ended up bring nothing to senpai's house since my cake was still baking in the oven. too much thing happen, i couldn't find the cornflour for the cake's ingredient, i broke my hand mixer, i even cut my finger. guess because it's been too long since i've been in the kitchen. haha.

3hours before the presentation, 27th October.

xtahulah nak ckp cuak ke tidak sbnanye, tp berusaha sedaya upaya jugaklah untuk menyumbat nan n kari ke dalam mulut walaupun hakikatnye perut xd la lapa sgt.

soro soro jikan da!

sempat berposing d depan cermin dlm lif, lab i kn tingkat8. hehe. spotted muka cuak di situ. hueh2.

well.. haruslah rse cuak utk berpresent di depan khalayak umum kan, tambahkan pulak dgn bkn mother tounge, mahupun mother's angkat tounge (english). makanya, wajarlah utk jantung ini berdetap2 sket kn.hueh2.

alhamdulillah!!

yatto owatta ze...~! (owh sume org simbol peace jek yg mmpu)

alhamdulillah Tuhan permudahkan. walaupun sy pn xtahu ap yg sy jwb mse sensei tnye soalan, then ad satu ketika yg sy hanya mampu menjawab 'soudesune... soudesune...' smpi tbe2 da abes mse.

tp xp, toriaezu, chuukan koetekita yo~~

mata, kimatsu ganbarou!

tp, sebelum itu, 28th October.

berpoya-poyalah sikit. theeeheeee....

sehari selepas tamatnya chuukan happyou. huahuahua.

iAllah, untuk kimatsu akn cuba wat sebaik yg mungkin supaya kesilapan mengatur masa time chuuukan ni xkn berulang lg. siyesly, sy xnk spend wiken kt lab, sy xnk celik mata lab, pejam mata lab, mari mengusir budaya hidup seperti robot!

makanya, korekara chanto yatte, jikken mo shikkari shite, iA ii kekka wo dasareru youni~

nwy, entry yg meleret dgn lambakan kombo gmbr2, maaflah.

tanda2 penuaan gamoknye, da smakin mls nk menulis. huih3.

31st October.

oh, dan ini, gmb latest.

fresh dari ladang, beberapa jam yg lalu. hui3.

konon2 nk berkouyou.. tgok2 mmg batang pokok dgn lalang nk mati yg penoh, sejok over kot eyh taon nih. hehe.

anyway, babai october,

and

happy november!!

huda, u have to read this!

well, october seems soo busy dgn birthday org-org tersayang. *eceh, bace sndri rse nk t'golek muntah*

eyh, tp btollah, org-org tersayang.

(tibe-tibe rse nk menyelit satu kisah dri sebuah drama korea)

A asked B whether B is sayang-ing A or not.

then B said, "how should i know?" 

then A said, "will u cry for me?"

B burst into laugh then answered, "no way!!"

"even if I were going to die?" tanye si A lg.

then B replied, "u try to die first, then let me see if i'm gonna cry or not"

and after few days, A died, and no one know the reason why, and B is left with full of regret.

if only B had said yes on that day....

ahha! pengajarannya, kenapa susah sgt nk mengaku syg dkt org? hewhewhew~

i heart u, u heart me,

but u know right, that i heart u more, but it doesn't mean u heart me less.i know.

gambo zaman kite muda-muda dlu.hehe. dis pitch was taken 4 to 5 years ago if i'm not mistaken. ohmaii.. how time flies..

apabila sedikit meningkat dewasa.. seee, we both come to realize that senyum tunjuk gigi itu is much better. ahaha.

saengil chukkha hae uri huda.

huda neun, naega neomu neomu chua hae, neomu neomu sarang hae, al lla?

 jal ji neh!

plus, may Allah bless ;))

(ahhhaa. terabor bahase hentam keromo.)

iAllah 6bulan lagi kita ketemu di utara ya, wait for me!

anyway, huda is my best friend in high school. we used to be melekat berdua ke mane-mane. 

during my teenage time, my attitude was pretty bad (compared to now, da dewase sket, matang iA), i was really such a hot-tempered girl, and the worst part was i really xley terima any advice from others. i loved to talk back and as the result, people would leave me alone. 

si-panas-baran-and-x-suka-dnga-nasihat-orang me.

 but then, there's huda, the only one that i'd listen to, even dgn sedikit memberontak.

i treated her pretty badly back then, but i know, she does know me very well, thus she tolerated a lot, i meant, really really LOT. thanks for being such a super-duper nice best friend huda!

and also, the one with the best remedy - u helped me a lot, through ups and downs, joys and tears, even in the hardest time of mine, u were there, supporting me, giving me strength. give u 5 extra loves for that!

yeah, one more thing, i think u know that i DO envy u for your spm's result. of course people keep saying, spm is just a SPM, plus, it was 6years ago plak tu kn. haha.but still, can't help to feel jeles!

ok lah, nnt jd entry meleret pulak.

last but not least, one more time,

i heart u, 

a lot a lot a lot.

be a nice doctor, and make sure your house is just next to mine, in case i'm marrying not a genius doctor, but a machoss engineer. haha.

hashtagPMH

padu persatuan malaysia hiroshima sekarang. seminggu dua ni gagah dan betah ke hulu ke hilir beraktiviti, terimbau balik zaman muda-muda dahulu kala.

adakah sudah berakhir zaman gersang di bumi bertuah ini?

ohoksss. bahasa xbleh nk blah kan? anyway, million thanks la to those yg berusaha menghidupkan semangat berjalan-jalan kepada warga saijou terchenta ni. ye la, bukannya apa, alang-alang da berada di bumi orang, x salah kan kalau aktif sikit dengan keluar meneroka alam. inilah peluang dan ruangnya. berusia muda, berkelapangan masa, berpoket kepuk. eheh.

jejaka jejaki serba chantek serba tampan. 

gadis-gadis menawan ;p

sekali-sekale. kui3.

dan hari ini, aktiviti mengisi perot dgn segala macam jenis buah. eheh. bergari-garian. naisu la, i loike.

muka jakun first time mengutip anggur di ladang.

yg ni x bpe nk jakun la sbb da penah pegi. ladang epal.

nak huplod gmbar banyak-banyak pon, i xmampu. almaklumlah, handicap, ore xdop kemera. huhu.

oh. jumaat lepas ada happyo zentai zemi. 

dan minggu depan akan ada lagi.

dan dua minggu lagi chuukan happyo. OMG!

xd idea nk mengentry ap sbnanya. sje sronok2 nk letak gmb. sore jya!

p/s- xtahu kenapa jiwe rse gumbire tgok org hashtag pmh kt twitter.haha.