Rabu, 30 Januari 2013

a Loooooooong entry, on universal face and budak kampung story

i have a reaaaally good story to tell.

u know what, wherever i go, people tend to say this to me,
'eyh, ur face very familiar lah!'
'aaaa.. muke same dgn si polan si polan!'
'ade kakak eyh blaja kt sini kt sini?'
'eyh aritu i saw someone muke mcm u lah!'

n bla bla bla. ohokkk. my face is sooo universal!

when i was in high school, junior high school to be exact, i still remember during the orientation week, some seniors noticed my face to be very similar with the school science's teacher. she's young, not married yet, and well, i think she' quite pretty but to say it myself with my own two lips while others grouping us as the 70 to 80% of face similarities, its kinda weird like i was saying my face pretty, on my own. o my God, please pardon me for saying that. seriously, this is not intended to say i'm pretty or whatsoever, its just, 
i wanna say that sensei is pretteyhh!
*i dunno why the heck i'm explaining it way too long here*

anyway, thanks to that teacher, i were noticed by many of the seniors. well, nice come to nicer (oh, ad ke phrase mcm nih?), she turned out to be our class teacher. i still remember her name, Miss Rosnani. she taught us science. well, i was still innocent on that time, just imagine, i'm just 13 y' old. oh, now it was like 11 years ago, how times flies. i like the part where we're standing side by side, next to each other. people tends to take a peek at us, and especially when it was during perhimpunan pagi or any occasions where there're lots of students and teachers paid attention to us. and she, of course easygoing and very sporting, she used to say, 
'aah, dy adik sy' and something like that. owh, i miss those moments.

well, actually that was the first time my face was recognized by others, and thanks to that teacher for acknowledging me, i lived a really good life during high school. u know, with my pretty passive personality, plus a quite complex and severe lack of confidence and inferiority, it is not that easy to come out live the life to the fullest. plus, it was hard during the first step, i meant, my first year. 

u know why it was hard?
i come from a really humble family, deep down from the rural area. there were less than 100 students in my elementary school, and there were only 18 students of standard 6. i was the first person to grab 5A's for the UPSR and broke the best record of that school which was my brother's before with 4A's and 1B's. that previous year, there're students with 4A's and 1C's, and 3A's and 2B's. that was the best record after my brother. it seemed incredibly impossible for that one subject to be A for other students, and if i'm not mistaken, no one ever had. well, i guess u all know what's that subject was. 
for sure it is English. 

budak kampung, sah sah lah x reti omputeh. zaman dulu bukan mcm zaman skrg ni. 
10 years ago, education system in rural area was not as good as nowadays. i could imagine the shock the teachers had when the government announced the usage of English in Science and Maths few years ago. i was shocked too, enough to die. for rural kids like us, English is something very terrifying. not that the teacher were giving up hope, in fact they were trying their best. not enough the skills from our own teacher, school paid more to invite English teacher from other schools, the excellent one. but still, students performance were the same.  

 i still remember back then when i was in high school and i went to visit my elementary school just to meet up with my beloved mom-like-teacher, and she asked me, how did i do, how did i got that A for my English, and how come i can score almost to full mark for my English paper during the school time. i'm not someone from a good education family background. no one in my family ever talk in English, neither we have tons of English drama or movie or cartoons video tapes to watch every weekend like kids nowadays, i mean at least like my nieces and nephews. but how can i?

i can't remember what my answer was back then. but what i know, i do understand the kids' suffer. to fill in the blanks with the proper answer on the English test paper is not that easy. me myself, i dun even know how did i survive. thanks God for the miracle, and alhamdulillah for the good brain i'm carrying until now.

and back to the story, from such of that background, can u imagine my first day at high school? comparing myself with the others, seriously i'm dying of inferior complexity. that was the first day i took a first step throwing myself out into the world. for others, maybe it was nothing. the only thing changes is from parent's house to living in a hostel. but for me, that was the starting point, of me knowing the world in larger range. yeah, bad people called me jaguh kampung, 
'kat kampung bley laa nk berdiri atas semua orang, tunjuk tererr'
but thank you bad people, your bad comments have made me able to reach here. haters gonna hate right?

and alhamdulillah, now i'm Japan. taking another few steps into the real world, and even i'm already in this place, i'm still having that inferior complexity. well, just because i didn't show it doesn't mean i don't feel it. too many factors contributing to that inferior complexity, but i guess, everyone has their own pros and cons, bads and goods, right?

eyh, the point is, i just wanna say, my face is universal, and the definition for it is not that this face is laku to jual as cheknell cover, neither jimmy choo, but universal in its own world of too many so similar faces. i guess because my face is too Malay, then all the sevens of my 'kembar' are Malays too. well u know, ad statement cakap there're 7 people with the similar face like us. and i guess i have already found all that seven.

and because i miss my first kakak kembaq so much, i tried to find her on the fb and luckily i found her!

and anyway, i'm the only daughter in family.
so, whenever u see someone like my face, seriously, she's not my sister.

one more thing! 
few years ago i wrote something about another bad people calling me budak kampung just because i replied her maki-maki message in Malays in this blog. i forgave that lady already, but i'm sorry miss, we're both women, we all know best our limitations on forgetting things right? 
i just wanna state here, 
yeah, i am budak kampung, and still am. but, dun judge me based on your lame definition of budak kampung. budak kampung nowadays ramai yg da berjaye beb.

heh. how come face story terpusing jd kisah budak kampung nih?


Isnin, 28 Januari 2013

moments to remember ^^

ok. enuff wit d tons of pitchas.

2 months left until the graduation. i'm gonna miss dis a lot, i mean, really really lot.
sotsuron ganbare jibun!

Rabu, 23 Januari 2013

i want that eyes!

husnuzzon itu memang payah, serius.

menjadi pemaaf itu semestinya lebih payah, tak tipu.

melupakan itu sememangnya jaaaauh lebih payah, sumpah. 

sememangnya saya seorang pemarah, yg sangat lemah dlm mendidik jiwa dlm berhusnuzzon, apatah lagi mendidik hati untuk memaafkan. mungkin di bibir seribu kali sy nyatakan kata-kata kemaafan, sejujurnya, ia memakan seratus ribu kali lagi untuk hati ini dalam usaha melupakan. tidak mustahil juga, hakikatnya langsung tidak dapat dilupakan.

makanya, timbullah perkataan dendam.
dendam yg membuatkan mata terus buta untuk melihat sebarang kebaikan. mata yg terdidik dek api kemarahan dan dendam untuk hanya melihat ke arah keburukan, kecacatan, kecelaan.

oleh kerana sy amat mengenali hakikat sisi gelap diri yg serius sy kira diluar batas kemampuan sy untuk mengawalnya dgn baik ini, sy sering berusaha mencari jalan penyelesaian lain.
sering sy ingatkan kepada orang-orang yg mengenali diri sy supaya berusaha untuk kurang melakukan 'kesalahan' terhadap sy. tapi, sy kira, selaku manusia biasa, ia bukanlah sesuatu yg mudah, setiap manusia sememangnya xkan mudah untuk terlepas daripada melakukan kesalahan. begitu juga sy, dgn hakikat dri yg senang meletus kemarahan ini, mungkin, sy juga tidak sedar bahawa sy juga seorang yg mudah mencetuskan kemarahan org lain. mudah meletus, mudah mencetus, tidak mustahil. tp org kate, biasenye kita antara dua kan. heee.. jdnye, mungkin sbb sy da mudah meletus, jd sy kurenggg sket bab-bab mencetus. ahakss.

insyaAllah, never loses faith in Allah.
mungkin kadangkala sedikit down dan membenci diri sendiri, menyesal dgn kerosakan yg dilakukan tatkala marah, tertekan dgn jiwa yg sukar benar nk memaafkan apatah lagi melupakan, tp insyaAllah dgn ingatan Allah itu maha mengetahui jiwa-jiwa hambaNya yg lemah, terubat sket, dan b'semangat kembali untuk terus perbaiki diri.

so, mari mulakn langkah demi langkah.
my first mokuhyou - see the best in people.

yep, let's didik mata utk see the best in people!

anywy, salam maulidul rasul!

Isnin, 21 Januari 2013

updet sket

gmbar jek yg mmpu nk huplod sekarang, nak menaip, x berape bermud.

haa.. hidung kembang kott zmn memude dlu, mcm mne ntah zmn skrg ni bley menguncup skett. hehee.

ouh itu saje.
k bai.

Isnin, 14 Januari 2013

come on Malaysian!

"When it comes to politics, I never understand the concept of "tak tahu bersyukur" being posted on people's foreheads when they ask for change. If someone asks for change for the betterment in the education field, they are labelled as "tak tahu bersyukur" that we have schools. If someone asks for change under human rights, they are labelled as "tak tahu bersyukur" and fail to see how bad things were before independence. 

To me, being grateful is about making change for the better. When the pioneers toiled for an airplane, they were not being ungrateful for their feet or riding on horses. When humans start developing lightbulbs, they were not ungrateful for the candles that they used before. They were only finding a way to improve their lives.
So learn the difference.
- quoted from one of my friend's fb status, she's really an inspiring person, seriously.

be nice Malaysian. i'm coming home for good soon. 
to the place called home.

Khamis, 10 Januari 2013

on having faith and being positive

on having faith and being positive.

terkadang terumbang-ambing juga kembali mahu menurut nafsu. dengan persekitaran yg benar-benar menguji keutuhan hati dan jiwa, sungguh, sy tidak pantas menongkah deras naluri darah muda yg sejujurnya mendambakan yg sama tatkala melihat teman-teman yg lain terlebih dahulu mengorak langkah beria.

luka lama kononnya, sejujurnya hanya alasan semata. hakikatnya, diri sendiri masih belum bersedia. perjalanan sendiri masih terlalu panjang, masih byk tanggungjawab yg perlu ditunaikan, masih byk hutang yg perlu dilangsaikan. bukan mudah untuk bertekad membulatkan hati suatu ketika dahulu, tidak mungkin semudah itu pula kau mahu mengalah bukan?

makanya, bersabarlah duhai hati.
walhal bahagia itu tidak semestinya datang hanya dari manusia, bahkan Tuhan yg mengawal segalanya. usah berat menidakkan kehendak hati sekarang, yakini andai tiba masanya segalanya akan bakal dipermudahkan.

on having faith and being positive. 

Ahad, 6 Januari 2013

babai 2012!

saye suke gmbr ni,
suke sangat-sangat

except for the eyes part yg membuatkn sy terase sperti i look like one of d vampire kind, 
mcm sswai dah dok kt ais2 gtu kan. haha!

cantik kan? feeling2 korea sket sbb bangunan n senibina dy siyes menarik dgn kaler-kaler yg cukup meriah.
kousanji temple, bley pergi either by road or better nek feri, best lg kot.

miraishin no oka, senibina ukir ais!
ok, itu tipu. marmar sbenarnye, and this place pernah dpt world award marmar architectural something mcm tuh. nk tau lebih, sile gugel, or klo ad ruang wktu, sila kunjungi tmpt ini hokey.

siyes naisu utk shoot wedding. 

silau menyilau.
serius batu ini naisu, matahari di belakangnye pon naisu, org di dlm gmbrnye pon mstilah naisu kan? haha
muntah pelangi jap.

anywy, selamat tahun baru kgkwn.
bertambah usia, maka perlulah bertambah kematangan.
owh 5more months until being a 24 y'o lady! mak inche, suda mau jd mak inche!

gunekan masa yg ad sepuas-puasnye. hidup bukan utk sibuk memikirkan apa org nk kate, malah fitrah manusia mata sentiasa mencari celah lubang untuk dikata. makanya, persetankan mereka, mari maju memandang ke depan, nikmati hidup sepenuhnye, be positive, treat people nicely, and of course treat your own self nicer.

good luck wawa!
may 2013 be better than 2012